Do you think career matters…ALwAYs???

In today’s busy,expensive world everyone around us is working hard for making their life better and beautiful. But sometime some people really put everything that matters secondary for money.

Yesterday I was talking to my colleague regarding his recent on site trip and experiences there. He was in UK for 8 odd  months,Wife couldn’t  go with him because of her job.So wife and daughter were back home in Pune. My friend and I used to talk on regular basis as to how is he missing his daughter and all the fun of being together. So when he returned I asked h felt after meeting his daughter after so long??? His reply was shocking..he said “Initially for 1 day she didn’t recognise me at all”  poor baby was busy in figuring out,who this fellow is..and how he appeared all of sudden from nowhere.

Now, the twist to this story…The friend and his wifey dear both are in IT company means leading a hectic life and the baby was not on their priority list when the baby happened…his wife being too ambitious for career, never wanted to give up the job…so initially,like every other working couple they opted for full-time Aya..but after few days it became difficult for them to manage everything..and the solution they found to this was to send the baby @ the age of 15 months to the guy’ parents..and his parents are taking care of baby for past 1 year. Their sweet lil baby started speaking and says “Dad disappeared and Mumma left me” 😦 😦

I was shocked and angry when I heard all this..My question to him was “Why the job/money is so important for you both rather than your baby” ?  To this his reply was “My wife never listens…she never wanted baby and now she doesn’t want to waste her precious time in babysitting”.  I was like What????????????  How can a mother be so rock hearted..don’t she understands the need of the small baby? Is a career so important over baby? I understand everyone has their priorities and preferences in life. I have even seen people who willingly planned to NOT have kids because of their career aspirations..but this is really very disgusting..I mean you bring a soul in this world and literally abandon it ???? just for your stupid job???

To be very frank I lost all the respect for this friend and his wife for whatever they have chosen to do. Do you think career comes before your family ??

25 thoughts on “Do you think career matters…ALwAYs???

  1. If they did not want a baby, they shouldn’t have had one. But, now that they have a daughter, they should reset their priorities.

    You don’t necessarily have to give up your career. You can always find a way to work around it if you want.

  2. For me, it’s always family first. Because on a bad day, only family stands by you, your office does not!

    And what they did about the baby is rather despicable! But well, he shudn’t just say “She never listens.” He is equally not bothered too. It’s onsite for him thts important; its job for her thts important. They’re both bad parents 😦

  3. Each one’s own perspective on this. But its sad to see the child talking like that….if the parents are so career oriented, why the hell did they have a baby ???

    For me, its family first always. 🙂

  4. God, seriously this is disgusting. How can a mother does it? Anyway, I have also seen a lady in our office, where she drops her kid at her mom’s place on monday morning and picks her up on friday night 😦 She say that she does not patience to take care of kid after coming from office. I was wondering what is the need of having child. She has the answer for that also. She says that because of pressure from her parents, I am having it and since they pressurized me, let them take care of the kid. Can you believe it 😦

    Better not to have kids rather taking care of the kids like this 😦

  5. Why have a kid if you don’t have it in you to take care of it. A kid is born out of no fault of his/her own.

    I don’t want to judge but I hope that later on in life they don’t come to regret this decision of theirs.

  6. personally my priority is family.. Either we choose or not once we have a baby there is no looking back. We should be responsible for each n every step of the baby…

  7. in the IT era, people become very practical. their emotions take a back seat.women see opportunities as never before.even in olden days, there were women who were emotionless,to say the least.they are born that way,they cannot form any attachments.
    your colleague cannot put all the blame on his wife. she had told him that she didn’t want a child. inspite of that if they had one, he should take the responsibility.
    moreover, it was wrong on the part of the grandparents to put the idea in the mind of the child of his parents desrting this age, almost everywhere, the grandparets help out in looking after the grandchildren happily.

    • Aruna I don;t think IT life makes people this much practical..I have seen many people taking sabbatical leave for their kids being in IT. I agree the guy should come forward and take the responsibility of the baby !

  8. Family always comes first and as far as your friend is concerned i think it would have been better that they did not plan a baby and now that they have one they should happily take up his responsibility… I’m really shocked to read that such kind of mothers exist…

  9. People do not realize (or may be do not understand) the meaning of life (even theirs and/or one they bring into this world). Nature punishes them very badly.

    I can only pray for these lot… “May God forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”

  10. I know a couple who sent their 3 month old daughter to her granny.When the kid returned a year later, she used to call her granny as mamma and her mom by her name.

    I guess its priorities but while bringing a baby into this world you should keep ur eyes open.

    However much we talk of equality and all, the fact remains that the mother is the nurturer and ultimately its the mother who has to take responsibility.

    • I agree Reema…even if you are not ready for baby..but once you have must prioritise things. In case of this poor baby..her dad was in UK, mom was in Pune and the kid was @ some different place. I feel either mom or dad should be around baby in growing years 🙂

  11. I would be equally angry and disappointed in both the husband and the wife. It is sad that in spite of there being so many ways of avoiding getting pregnant, this couple had the baby when they did not want it. These days if you dont want to have a baby you can ensure you dont have one! We waited all this while because we knew we were not mentally or otherwise, prepared to handle the responsibility that comes with a baby and putting a baby through our unreadiness is not fair!

    Having said that, it is sad that we still think that all the responsibility lies with the woman. Well, if he says “My wife never listens…she never wanted baby and now she doesn’t want to waste her precious time in babysitting”, he can still take responsibility and take care of the poor kid himself, can’t he? Sending the baby away is brutal, and unfair to both the baby AND the grandparents!

    • Yes Shilpa correct, he could have taken the responsibility if he was in India…but when he was away in abroad…ultimately its mom’s responsibility to take care of the least in this situation?

      • True makes sense. But if one partner refuses responsibility, and if the other says he is so concerned there are ways to get around the problem, aren’t there? Anyway, I am in no way justifying her actions or his. They are both deplorable.

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