For last few days I have been pondering over this one word which has a lot to do with the kind of person I am today. Every person goes through some transition phases in life which do change his or her perspective towards life.
Dad,being a Govt.Servant has to travel across Maharashtra every 3 yrs. so I did my schooling till 10th from several small,big schools.Till 10th,my exposure to the outer world(apart from school) was limited.My mom used to make me participate every interesting extra curricular events taking place in school. So drawing exams, paintings and debating was something I started enjoying and excelling into. Academically, I was good and always passed with flying colors. For me that was the world 🙂 After my 10th results,Mom,dad decided to relocate to a CITY,which will value my talent and change my future. So we 3 kids and Mom shifted to Nashik and Dad used to visit us on weekends. Remember,I was a bright student so far 🙂
Very soon a new routine of classes,college started in new city,it took me a while to adjust in new environment.I was enjoying the BEST college,BEST teachers etc but somewhere I stated becoming introvert,Some inferiority complex started engulfing me,I started feeling out of the world.Other guys,girls were far superior than me in Maths,spoken English and this made me less expressive 😦 I couldn’t really make any good frenz during 11th and 12th, I had few like me who relocated to Nasik,for better 11th and 12th.
I had no one to share ideas about studies,patterns to follow in those years,I started feeling lost in the whole world. To make it worse,during final days of 12th exams,dark thoughts of skipping the exams,taking gap and reappearing were hovering over my minds.I was determined to skip that year exams.But it was mom who literally made me study and appear for papers. As expected the result was not up to the mark,I couldn’t believe its me,who was once topper throughout her school days got such ranks 😦 😦 No wonder,Parents were really disappointed 😦
Since that day,I lost confidence in myself. I started feeling myself good for nothing.My dream was to be a doctor.However with those less marks I was eligible for Ayurveda or Homeopathy course admission,which I never wanted.Engineering was not my cup of tea,so I didn’t even bother to fill up any application forms. In that crucial juncture we all were confused with the future 🙂 I appeared for every applicable entrance test for various courses.Computer Science was hot cake and dad wanted me to pursue that but for me it was secondary option after medical. After lotsa ifs and but’s I finally landed in Computer Science graduation course. What followed, during the graduation will make another post for sure.So 11th and 12th changed my perspective about myself — “Good for nothing”