Indian (Ridiculous)Mentality

Girls/Women in India are always expected to Comply all the criteria decided by male dominated society.Forget about earlier generations,Today’s so called well educated,decent S/W engineers, who are working with me in a reputed organization too expect,their would be partner to fulfill all her duties like managing domestic affairs,cooking, looking after his family/kids SOLELY and that too without grumbling about anything…That sounds very ridiculous to me…I have simple questions for these guys,you expect a working/earning wife,suppose she is also a s/w engineer like you.You both are putting equal efforts in raising money for your present/future..then at the end of the day why should she only care for preparing dinner? ? or care about grocery stocks in home? If looking after every household stuff is solely her responsibility then what is yours??? earn money and your responsibility is finished?? Why do men always want to act like superiors to Women? What extra contribution are they making just being MEN? Other guy’s wife fallen sick some time back,this guy doesn’t know cooking and was ordering food for his sick wife from a restaurant for a week..I asked him would you appreciate if your wife does the same for you,while you are sick??? He had no answer for my question….

Generally all some guys in India have this typical mentality,they want their women to be educated,earning,independent etc. etc.But She should not be the governing authority. And should not hurt their ego alongwith this they also want her to take care of his family, consider herself as an integral part of his family,take care of his siblings,provide financial help whenever required However, can a girl expect same things from her life partner??? Does guys also consider themselves as part of “her” maternal family? and understand their responsibilities? moreover do they have any “Defined” responsibilities at all?

I have seen a guy refusing to pay his wife’s telephone bill ( dated “before their marriage” ) on the other hand he expected his wife to let him shell out odd lacks of rupees to settle his family’ disputes, fund his siblings for their education, marriage etc.since it’s his “Duty or Kartavya” What should his wife do in this case?? What you say?

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21 thoughts on “Indian (Ridiculous)Mentality

  1. The husbands are often raised by parents who have made the sister do all the work at home ‘to prepare her for her future’ – for this future, that when she is ill she has to eat ordered food 😦 What if there was a baby also at home? He would requested a female relative to come and take care of their child?!

    I think women should learn to ‘ask’ the husbands to do their share. I don’t like to use the word ‘help’ – because it is not really the wife’s job, it is their shared responsibility.

    Loved this post, heart felt and objective.

    • Thanks for stopping by IHM…this particular guy is surprisingly raised by a working couple 😛 and yes they have a toddler baby too in house..his wifey is not working and hence she is supposed to take care of all the matters.

      • Sadly its a every household story, my huband wudnt even bother to order food from restaurant instead wud complain dat m not provinding timely food to him (like being sick means m on holiday), n it doesnt matter to dem if wife is working or not rather a complete housewife duties remain inact n husband remains superior always 😯😕

  2. Sadly in India, there is no connection whatsoever between education and civilization! I knew a doctor who used to beat the crap out of his DIL, for mundane family disputes. Who would have thought, huh?

    As much as I hate these chauvenists, I would also blame women to a certain extent – mothers especially. These values of male superiority may have been started by men, but are more often advocated by women. Girl children are taught to help in cooking and cleaning chores whereas boys are asked to help by running to the shops to buy small things. Both are given education, agreed, but girls are hammered with speeches about how an ideal girl is supposed to behave, how family comes first, et al. Boys are allowed to be ‘just boys’.

    This is a social conditioning that starts at a very young age, by one’s own family. Such people’s mindsets are very difficult to change…

    • Very true…I have seen many Mom’s who fulfills any demand of their son on drop of hat. Luckily my Mom is an exception to all this..while we were growing up she distributed small small tasks between me and my brother..so it was never the question of “Boy” “Girl” tasks..I hope every Indian Mom who is still biased in upbringing of BOY n GIRL child should learn this 🙂

  3. It would be highly appreciable if you could mention the usage of ‘some’ or ‘few’ before the word ‘guys’ !! 😀 😀 😀 Not all guys are the same just like how all women arent the same !! 😀 😀 I have seen similar ridiculous mentality in some of the women too. Why go far, most of the dowry issues in India start with a mother in law !! 😀 😀 😀

  4. Its difficult for the husband to change later after marriage because, he has been brought up like that in his house. He has been kept on a pedestal while his sisters had to take care of his needs. His mother created this division among male and female siblings. Its very rare that these men change for the better after seeing good marriages where equal partnership and love plays the major role. And the others stick to the tradition with which they have been brought up. I really feel bad for the ladies, who put up with these men.

  5. Hmn.. this was the most emotional blog so far in your list. Directly come out and wrote in one instance.Well We Men are sick. Each and every one ! The degree may be less / high depends, but we are sick. India is predominantly a country where the male is a strong sex and the female is a weaker sex. We have moulded our lifestyles in that way. The same way as you say, that a husband is ordering food from hotel when his wife is not well, Perhaps I feel both are wrong somewhere or the other.Lets take an example of office. Corporate office. Your colleague is a female, and you both are a team in a project. If the the project is delayed then not just one person is responsible, both are. Similarly your team leader is also equally responsible for the failure, he has to take the ownership. If the TL would have deviced decent rules in you, and made you work well and enthusiastically then you both would have done well, and the project would have completed in time. So the key here is every one has to device their own ways of doing things. The women in modern India is also taught that you have to do these and these things, in order to survive in your married life. Yahi culture hai.Infact if you notice, there is a poor who is poor and the rich is rich. The rich is always dominating and the poor is always suffering.I am in UK, and here the cleaner/sweeper has more attitude than the Software consultants, however in India it is the other way around ! Why ? Cause we have reared such a culture.Ham beshak is ko badal sakte hai, and badalenge bhi. 🙂tc.

  6. I don’t think that it has anything to do with education. Men also know what is correct and what is not and they also have this somewhere in their subconcience but they don’t always implement the correct thing. This may be because of ; as you said; the male dominated society we have in our country and they are not always bound by the society to do the “correct” thing. But when it comes to a women, everything goes by rule..whether it is a question of taking care of the family, cooking food, growing children etc etc..women cannot escape from their resposibility but may a times Men easily can. We have grown up in terms of having girl education, giving “equal opportunity to women” etc but have we really? We are still carrying some outdated understanding of “defined” women role. Whatever a women do “extra” it is “extra” but she has to simultaniously carry the burden of that define women role.It has always been said that man and women are the two wheels of the same cart, both share equal responsibility, then why we don’t implement it?

  7. I totally agree with satyakam… Our education has improved our lifestyle and given us more money than our parents could ever imagine of… but it has not given us the “vinayam”. It has given us a degree and a job, but alas no real “education”.

  8. Madam,R we really educated? “Vidya dadati vinayam…” is what one of the Sanskrit slokas says… but do u think have we developed that “vinayam”? ~Sattu

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